Marilyn’s Story: A Loving tribute to Jill
December 17, 2015 by Cathy Brown
“It’s not what happens to us in life, but what we choose to do with what happens that will make the difference” ~Marilyn Babuscio
I met Marilyn last month when she registered to discover her WHY. She is a wonderful and caring person who believes in contributing to a greater cause, making a difference, adding value or making an impact. Marilyn is a support group facilitator and life coach.
After discovering Marilyn’s WHY, she shared her story with me; a story of love, loss, strength and ultimately giving to others. I knew I had to share Marilyn’s story with you.
Meet an exceptional lady – Marilyn Babuscio…in her own words…
“My daughter Jill (pictured above) was born with some physical challenges, In spite of her difficult life, she achieved more in her short years than many of us achieve in a lifetime. When Jill was about 6 years old, one morning getting ready for school she looked at me and said …“Mommy, I wish I was never born!” My heart sank, but I understood because she was teased all the time because she looked a little different than everyone else. The only thing I could think to say was…“Honey, I know you have had a difficult life, and the kids make fun of you, but it is not what happens to you in life, it is what you do with what happens that will make the difference. It can make you a better, stronger person, or it can destroy you…but it is your choice.” She never said that again.
Throughout her difficult life she defied all the odds. Dr’s would predict and she would persevere. Her dream was to have a floral shop and to work with Brides, naming her shop “Give Thanks” from her favorite song in church. My son Shawn enabled her to realize her dream at 22 by opening up a Garden Center and Floral shop. During those years Jill started having some health issues regarding her breathing as it was found out that she was allergic to fresh flowers.
Rather than let her dream of working in the Bridal Industry be shattered she researched and taught herself to hand make porcelain flowers, embellished with Swarovski Crystals. At age 26, she patented the product which we still hold the patent on Jill’s website.
When she started having some new lung issues they could not figure out what was going on. She could not breathe. After 4 weeks they treated her with massive doses of steroids to save her. She ended up through the next several years to continue to decline, with mega doses of steroids, along with oxygen and wheel chair dependency. Jill never gave up.
When in the hospital even in intensive care, we would carry everything into the hospital and she and I would fill our wedding orders even up until the day she died. Her courage, strength and perseverance were something to be admired. I know I am who I am today because of both my children (Jill and her brother Shawn).
After Jill died I thought life was over. I do not need to tell you how devastated I was. There are times when it still feels like it was yesterday. There are still days when I can’t focus or function. We can and do learn and grow through death just as in life if we allow ourselves to do so.
After a while I started hearing Jill say to me “Mom, it is not what happens to you in life, but what you do with what happens that will make the difference. “ My words came back to bite me in the butt…like so many times I would stand in front of her empty room, shaking my head, crying and say to her how the heck do you ever make a difference from the death of a child? One day, standing there at her room it was like a light bulb came on!! That’s it… I will start a support group for parents who have lost children and call it “The Empty Room”.
The-Empty-Room was originally formed through the desire to make a difference in the lives of those who have realized a parent’s worst nightmare… the Loss of a Child. We have expanded our groups offering two evenings for anyone who has lost a loved one.
Although we will never get over our loss, know in your heart we can and will get through our grief. The greatest loss is the loss that is the greatest for you!!!
We come together as a group dedicated to sharing experiences, listening without judging, offering support, compassion, love, understanding, memories, tears, laughter and…. a glimmer of hope for a brighter tomorrow. “
Yes, Marilyn is an amazing lady.
You may learn more about Marilyn’s loving support group at www.the-empty-room.com or contact Marilyn at firstname.lastname@example.org
“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal”.
~ From a Headstone in Ireland
I allow myself to grow in all situations in my life.
Today, I love and appreciate all my gifts, especially my children.
Do You Know Your WHY?
Knowing your WHY is like turning on the lights to your behavior. You gain instant clarity. You begin to understand why you made the choices you made. You know what your special gift is. Your world begins to make more sense.
Discover Your WHY…here: