Living Without Expectations
March 23, 2017 by Cathy Brown
“Expectations feed frustration. It’s an unhealthy attachment to people, things and outcomes we wish we could control; but don’t.” ~ Dr. Steve Maroboli
Last week we talked about having no regrets. Are we working on that? I know it takes time. At least for me it does.
This week let’s tackle expectations. Those expectations always mess me up. Sometimes my expectations are so high, they can never be achieved and it makes me so disappointed; especially expectations of myself.
My friend, MaryNance posted this poem on her “Thoughts by MaryNance” daily newsletter last year. I loved it so much that I saved it, waiting for just for the right time to share it. That time is today. To help you to Live Without Expectations.
Toss Your Expectations Into The Ocean
by Leo Babauta
“How much of your stress, frustration, disappointment, anger, irritation,
pissed-offedness comes from one little thing?
Almost all of it comes from your expectations,
and when things (inevitably) don’t turn out as we expect,
from wishing things were different.
We build these expectations in our heads of what other people should do,
what our lives should be like, how other drivers should behave …
and yet it’s all fantasy.
It’s not real.
And when reality doesn’t meet our fantasy, we wish the world were different.
Here’s a simple solution:
Take your expectations, and throw them in the ocean.
Picture all the expectations you have for yourself, your life, your spouse,
your kids, your coworkers, your job, the world.
Take them from inside you, and toss them in the ocean. A river or lake will also do.
What happens to them? They float. They’re carried around by waves.
The current takes them out, and they drift away.
Let them be washed away by the cleansing waters, and let them go.
Now live your life without them.
What’s a life without expectations like?
It means you accept reality as it is, and people as they are,
without trying to force people into the containers you have for them,
seeing things as they are.
It’s a life where you don’t need to be disappointed
or frustrated or angry —
or if you are, you accept it,
and then let it go.
That’s not to say you never act —
you can act in a way that’s in accordance with your values,
and influence the world, but never have an expectation
of how the world will react to your actions.
If you do something good, you won’t expect praise or appreciation.
Let those expectations of reward and praise float away with the waves.
Do good because you love doing good, and expect nothing beyond that.
Pay attention to your thoughts.
Don’t beat yourself up if you have expectations.
Just see them.
Then toss them in the ocean.
Notice if you start to wish things weren’t the way they are.
If you wish someone else didn’t do something, notice that.
You have expectations,
and you wish people or the world could have met them
instead of doing what they actually did.
Toss those wishes in the ocean too.
Now accept things, and move on.
Let the waters of the world cleanse us,
and let us walk lightly in a world
that is already wonderful without our fantasies.”
Let’s all head down to the ocean and get rid of those dangerous expectations. Let’s stop beating ourselves up and throw them into the ocean. Who is with me?
“When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be.” ~ feelthelove.com
I release all expectations
I accept reality as it is, without expectations
“Imagine how you would feel if you knew you could create life however you wanted.”
That’s the power of Life Coaching
Are you looking to…
Gain Balance and Clarity?
Reconnect with who you really are?
Need Help Personally or Professionally?
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If you are seriously committed to creating the life you want, please contact Cathy at firstname.lastname@example.org to set up a FREE consultation.